Science + Pop Culture, writing

Throwing Stones at Marvel’s Endgame

Last year I threw together a quick post talking about the differences between the MCU’s Avengers: Infinity War and the original 90’s series the Thanos Quest and the Infinity Gauntlet. This post shall have nothing of the sort, as I’m struggling to find anything similar other than the fact that everyone who gets snapped out of existence comes back (Surprise, surprise, Adam Warlock does not appear out of nowhere and end up taking the gauntlet for safe keeping).*

Instead, I shall offer up the following questions I had after having watched the movie, twice.

Obviously, super duper spoilers ahead.

You have been warned.

Infinity Gauntlet-225
Dude’s a butthead, anyway…

  • If one hour in the Quantum Realm equals one year in the regular world, why did Janet age so much? She should be like a day older…
  • How slowly does Natasha’s hair grow? Or did she just keep dying her hair blonde for another 4 years?
  • Can you invert a Möbius Strip?
  • How does the Ancient One know about how important Strange is when she can’t see past the moment of her own death? Is this some dumb prophecy?
    • Also, she says the Infinity Stones create the flow of time — so, if Thanos destroyed them, why aren’t we living in a Kaecilius paradise where time stands still?
  • How much did they have to pay Natalie Portman to come back?
  • How much did it pain Captain America to say, “Hail Hydra”, and not beat up a bunch of quasinazis in an elevator again?
  • When Nebula says Vormir is the center of celestial existence, does she mean the universe has a center or it’s where Celestials like to hang out?
  • Why does Thanos think he needs to completely remake the universe from scratch, when all he needs to do is erase all sentient life?
  • Why does anyone think a machine gun is going to do any significant amount of damage against an alien horde? (This is a repeat question from the last movie.)
  • Did Wanda forget about her brother when she accused Thanos of taking everything away from her?
  • Shouldn’t it be significantly less damaging to kill off one large army of bad guys than kill/bring back half of all life? Or is a non-powered human in a tin can just that weak? (Probably the latter…)
  • Everything relating to wibbly wobbly timey wimey
    • Does Steve remember fighting himself (or who he thought was Loki)?
    • Did Hydra spend two years thinking Cap was on their side?
    • Why didn’t Rhodes/Nebula use Starlord’s magnet thing that was in his satchel to pull the Power Stone out from behind its shield?
    • Why did neither Nat/Clint know the trip to Vormir was a suicide mission?Nebula told everyone that Thanos killed Gamora on Vormir, and someone should have put 2 and 2 together.
    • If Loki used the tesseract to escape custody in 2012, why is he in Asgard prison in 2013?
    • If 2014 Nebula is killed after traveling to the future, why does 2019 Nebula still exist?
      • Also, what happens to the plot of Guardians 2?
    • If 2014 Thanos is killed after traveling to the future, shouldn’t everyone his future self killed in pursuit of the Stones in Infinity War (Heimdall, Loki, Vision, all of Xandar…) be alive?
    • So, what kind of family drama are we going to have to deal with when The Vanished show up 5 years later as if no time has passed? How many romantic relationships just got super complicated?
    • The Hulk only brings back the people who turned to dust. Are we just going to ignore all the people who died after (like if a plane crashed because both pilot and copilot went poof)? Do they stay dead?
  • Steve’s solo adventures in the past
    • How did Steve stab the aether back into Natalie Portman?
    • What did Steve do when he ran into Red Skull?
    • What happened to the dude that married Peggy in the original timeline? Is he okay?
  • Why were the only super abs we got to see CG? Booo…

Final thought: MVP of the universe is definitely that rat.

* Actually, Dr. Strange does teleport people to the big battle in both. There. I found one.

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